engage and sell

Let me highlight a few approaches that I’ve seen consistently turn people off. I’ve worked with clients who used these methods in the past, and once we made changes, their success rates improved significantly.
So, here’s what I’ve found doesn’t work when trying to start a conversation on social media. First off, don’t tell your life story in the first message. For example, someone might message, “Hi, I used to work as a strength coach for a rugby team, working long hours…” and on and on. Nobody wants to read a whole autobiography from someone they don’t even follow—especially in a cold message. I wouldn’t say it comes across as pushy—it’s more predictable. We all know where it’s heading, and it feels very self-centered. It feels like the sender is just ticking off their own boxes without considering the person they’re reaching out to.

GENERIC AUTORESPONDERS
Second, avoid generic autoresponders. You know those messages you get right after following someone? Like, “Thanks for the follow, let me know if I can help :)”—they don’t feel personal. It’s clear there’s no effort there, and if there’s no follow-up, it leaves a bland impression. It’s not the worst, but it doesn’t help either.

ME ME ME ME ME

Another big mistake is the “all about me” message. I’ve received messages like, “Hi, I’m a web designer. I love helping women scale their online businesses. I’ve created a mentorship program...” Again, it’s just a list of things they do, and honestly, I don’t care about any of it because there’s no effort to connect or see if I need it.

STRAIGHT TO CONSULTS

Next is jumping straight into selling. For instance, if someone replies, “We get great results. Would you like a consultation?”—that’s way too fast. It shows no effort to learn anything about me first, and it just feels like they’re rushing to close a deal.

MAKING BIG CLAIMS

Fourth, there’s the overloaded pitch. I once got a message saying, “I can 5X your value as a coach, I’ve helped over 50 coaches boost their income, I’ll create an app for you…” It’s just too much too fast. Yes, throwing out big numbers and making bold promises is a surefire way to turn someone off, but it also comes across as a bit untrustworthy. When someone makes claims like that, without offering any evidence to back it up, people naturally get sceptical. It’s not that the person hasn’t actually helped over 50 coaches, but in today’s world, with everyone and their grandma trying to sell something, we tend to put our guard up when approached with these tactics. It feels like they’re trying to dazzle us and tap into that emotional pull of wanting to earn thousands of pounds quickly.
Yes, sales will always have an emotional edge, but I believe the world is shifting. These kinds of tactics aren’t as effective as they once were. That’s why having a solid engagement strategy is key. It’s about getting to know people—maybe they’ll buy, maybe they won’t—but the real value is in building trust. These days, people, especially those with a bit more life experience (and often the ones with the means to afford your services), need more than flashy stats. They need proof, transparency, and trust.
While you might catch someone’s attention with an email full of big claims, most people will avoid these approaches because, as the saying goes, if it sounds too good to be true, it usually is. And I’ll be honest, I’ve probably tried every one of these tactics myself in the past! So don’t beat yourself up if you’ve done the same. The truth is, for years, entrepreneurs have thrived on building genuine relationships. The digital rush—automated landing pages, sales funnels—has definitely brought some results, but I think we’re entering a phase where serious business owners are getting back to basics: knowing their people and making real connections.
So, sharpening your engagement, communication, and listening skills is going to improve your sales skills going forward. Trust is the real key to closing deals nowadays.
This is exactly why I’m always banging on about assessing and improving your personal qualities—not just as a coach but as a human being. When someone decides to move forward with your services, they’re putting their trust in you, and that’s huge. It’s not something to take lightly. Honestly, I see that as an incredible honour in itself. I could go on about this all day, but let me get back to the point before I wander too far off track!

A BIG LIST OF FEATURES

Then there’s feature dumping—where someone lists every single feature or service they offer in the first message. For example, “Hi, do you need help with SEO, website redesign, digital marketing?” It feels like they’re trying too hard and makes me less interested.

AI TAKE OVER

Finally, don’t rely on AI or automation to do all the work for you. I’ve seen messages that are obviously generated by AI, and they just sound robotic. Like, “Hello, in the dynamic world of fitness, embracing innovation is key…” It doesn’t feel like I’m talking to a real person, and it’s a complete turn-off.

STAY AUTHENTIC

So, what should you do? Be genuine and personalised. Take the time to connect with people as individuals, not just as potential sales. Test different approaches and focus on building a relationship first, rather than jumping straight into selling. When you start with a human approach, you’re much more likely to have meaningful conversations that could lead to actual business down the road.